Fowler Follies

While I remained miserable with the flu, Rob and the guys braved the cold to build our new shed.  At this point, I had been sick for almost a week so I stayed in bed and watched The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers.  Rob, Jack, Mike, Jim, and, of course, Quincy worked away and did a great job.  Every now and then I managed to crawl out of bed and peek down from the bedroom window to check out what they were doing.  And, I was sneaky enough to get some pictures of them working! 

The shed turned out great and now all we have to do is put on the shingles and paint it.  J 

Well, not only have we FINALLY made a decision on where to go for our honeymoon, but we also booked the airfare and cruise!  Western Mediterranean, here we come!!  We will be flying to Barcelona and boarding the “Norwegian Gem” (Norwegian Cruise Line) for a 7 night cruise.  The itinerary is as follows:

Day 1: Barcelona, Spain
Day 2: Day at Sea
Day 3: Valletta, Malta
Day 4: Naples/Pompeii, Italy        
Day 5: Rome, Italy
Day 6: Florence/Pisa, Italy
Day 7: Nice, France
Day 8: Barcelona, Spain

Upon our return to Barcelona, we will spend an extra day in the city before flying back to the good ole US of A! 

Our discussion topics for our third and final session with Paula primarily focused on fear and God.  We expected to be discussing religion in some way shape or form since it had not yet popped up in our sessions.  After all, we were getting married by a religious figure and having a religious ceremony so at some point one would think the subject would be introduced, right?  We just didn’t anticipate the fear discussion.  But, we also did not expect the death discussion yet found that to be highly relevant.  Some questions covered during this session included: 

~ Tell me about the time that you have been the most afraid.
~ How did you handle your fear in that situation?
~ Would you let your spouse know if you were afraid?
~ What are some signs that would help your spouse recognize that you are in a fearful situation?
~ Talk to me about God.
~ What do you believe happens when someone dies?

The discussion part of this session was shorter than the previous sessions because we also reviewed our marriage ceremony and the paperwork necessary for the records that the church keeps.  This was actually more interesting than it sounds.  We found out that St. Andrew’s keeps a book that logs all weddings, baptisms, etc that the church has performed.  Our names will be logged in this book along with others dating all the way back to when the church originated in the 1700’s!  Pretty neat if you ask me! 

Our second session focused on family - more specifically, children.  Paula reminded us that once we are married, we become a family.  To quote her directly, “Children do not make a family, a marriage makes a family.”  She informed us how important it is to make sure that we are both on the same page as far as family and children are concerned.  The following are questions she asked us during the session:

~ Tell me about a time when you knew you had disappointed your parents. 
~ How did you know your parents were disappointed in you?
~ While you were growing up, did you feel as though your parents were proud of you?
~ How did you know when your parents were proud of you?
~ If you have children, would you both work or would one person stay home?
~ How would you handle it if your child preferred to run to your spouse when the child got hurt or sick? 
~ Assuming you could not conceive via regular means, have you thought about what lengths you would go to have children?
~ What if you had a child with a disability?
~ What if you exhausted all means and found that you could not have a child?  Would you adopt?

Although we had discussed some of this prior to attending the session, we had not touched on all of it.  It was reassuring to hear that we both felt similarly with regards to the specific issues we had not yet discussed.

When we walked into our first session with Paula, we did not expect it to be primarily focused on two subjects – money and death.  But when we walked out at the end of the session, we realized just how important those two subjects really are.  Paula kind of worked into those topics through what felt like “normal” conversation.  I mean, it’s not like we walked in, sat down, and had Paula say, “Ok kids, today we’re going to talk about money and death.”  Basically, she would focus on each of us as an individual allowing the other to sit and listen.  Once she was done with one of us, she would ask the other similar questions.  She would have us take turns as to who “went first” so that way it was more fair.    Some of the questions were logical questions that made sense as far as being something that we should think about if we hadn’t already.  Some of the questions allowed for reminiscing into our childhood and thus allowed us to share the feelings and thoughts we have from childhood/past experiences.  And, some of the questions were the type that made you shift in your seat, grow increasingly interested, and think, “Ooooh, deep question!”  These were some of the questions associated Paula brought up during what we call our “Money and Death Session”. 

~ When you were a child, did you buy Christmas presents for your siblings?
~ How did you decide how much to spend?
~ What did you buy each other for Christmas this year and how did you make that decision?
~ Have you thought about a financial plan (how you will manage bills, etc.) once you are down to one household?
~ Do you have a will?
~ Do you have a living will?
~ Assume you have just gotten married during this session.  You pull out of the church parking lot and get into a horrible accident.  The doctor comes out and tells you that there is no hope for your spouse.  Would your spouse want you to pull the plug?
~ What is the worst thing about each other?
~ What is the best thing about each other?

Once we were done, she strongly encouraged us to write both a will and a living will.  She also strongly encouraged us to share it with our families to prevent confusion/bad situations if a tragedy were ever to occur.  All in all, we found the session to be relevant and interesting.  Not to mention, we were actually looking forward to returning for future sessions.