On Saturday, we completed our third and final session of pre-marital counseling. I wasn’t sure what to expect prior to attending our first session, but I have to admit that it really was enjoyable. Really. Reverend Paula is absolutely wonderful! We found ourselves actually looking forward to the sessions and wondering, “What are we going to talk about this week?” Since this is the first entry, I suppose I should probably back up and start at the beginning.
After we got engaged and began the whole wedding discussion, Rob & I agreed that we wanted to be married by a religious figure. Being as we do not have a church that we regularly attend, we were left wondering just where to start looking. Rob is Episcopalian and, well, I am just me I guess. Technically, I was baptized Lutheran, but I haven’t been to church in so long that it leaves me wondering just what indeed I really am (more specifically than just Christian)! Rob asked if I would mind having an Episcopal ceremony and I told him that I didn’t see why I would have a problem with that. Rob pulled out his Book of Common Prayer and proceeded to look up The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage. We both agreed that we liked the ceremony and would try to find an officiant who was Episcopalian.
Rob suggested St. Andrew’s Church because he had been there for a Christmas service after moving to St. Mary’s County years ago. He sent me the link to their website and I poured over it. I liked what I had read and told him to go ahead and set up an initial meeting with Reverend Paula Robinson.
I have to admit that I was nervous when we first met Paula. I wasn’t sure what to expect and knowing that I would have to discuss my first marriage did not help matters. Thirty minutes and several tissues later (used by me of course), we left her office feeling incredibly comfortable with her. We also had her blessing and agreement to request an annulment from the Bishop regarding my first marriage.
I felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. In fact, I have to admit that I felt validated. I mean, I knew removing myself from my previous marriage was the right thing for me to do. Yet after I left, I struggled with feeling as though I was suddenly labeled one of “those people”. More specifically, I felt as though I was labeled one of “those divorced people”. I didn’t want to be grouped in with the vast majority of young divorcees who were assumed to have entered into their marriage lightly and who did not take their commitment seriously. It felt good to hear from someone completely removed from the situation, that I was not one of “those people”. Furthermore, it felt good to hear that as far as the church was concerned, I was fully justified in ending the marriage.
About a week or two after our first meeting with Paula, Rob received a phone call from St. Andrew’s saying that the Bishop had granted my annulment and we were set to be married. Unfortunately, in early January, we found out that Paula would be leaving St. Andrew’s to go to Missouri at the end of February. We were bummed. There is no better word to describe it than that. Even though we didn’t know Paula very well, and had technically only met her on that one occasion, we had felt so comfortable with her that we truly were looking forward to having her do our ceremony. Fortunately for us, Paula agreed to complete our pre-marital counseling sessions so that we would be prepared before she left and could be married by the interim priest. This meant that we would not have to find another officiant. So, we took her up on the offer and set up our three sessions. Little did we know just how enjoyably introspective they would be!
